In the days after my husband's death, I remained strong and moved with grace as I greeted the many family and friends that came to visit, attend rosaries and masses and then of course joining us at his funeral. This behavior stems from early in my life being raised by a strong woman, my mom, and being surrounded by a family of strong women and men. I was taught to believe that I had to be tough, that I shouldn't cry in front of others and that I needed to show people I am not a weak person. Where I come from, culture also influenced by life long belief that being strong was a necessity to survive and ultimately to be a leader.
It was very difficult to "stay strong" but I believed I needed to for my children and my grandchildren. I sucked up my grief and made everyone believe I was OK. So many people commented about how strong I was and that they admired me for holding it together. The truth: I wanted to scream. I wanted to run and keep running. I was so scared of moving through life without Frank. I was afraid that I actually wouldn't be able to do it - to live alone. Instead, I hid what I really felt in the deepest parts of me not ever letting anyone see just how scared and lost I really was.
After discovering the Grief Recovery Method, I learned that "being strong" was a huge myth of grief and that feeling all my human emotions is so normal and so natural. But even more importantly, so necessary for healing. You have no idea how much weight was lifted off my shoulders at that moment.
This belief of "staying strong" is one of the major six myths about grief that keep people stuck. Through my healing journey I have actually learned that their is true strength in vulnerability. Human beings were created to feel ALL emotions including the bad ones. I know being sad, feeling scared or being overwhelmed with all human emotions at once doesn't feel good. But we are human. And life isn't perfect. If you just give yourself permission to feel and honor that space of grief, you will feel so much better than trying to suppress it, numb it, avoid it, or replace it with something that it isn't.
If you are in this place of grief. If you've lost someone or something. If something dramatically changed or ended in your life. If you are experiencing adversity and stress, I invite you to message me. Let's chat and see if I what I offer in my programs is something you think might help you.